To experience the fullest and most powerful expression of who you are, integrity is the first principle to live by of The Four Agreements, according to Don Miguel Ruiz.
What is integrity? The first thing that comes to mind is simply being honest about what is important to you with yourself and others, and then walking your talk.
It doesn't stop there; integrity is also about transparency and vulnerability.
In blissful days, your inner compass is set perfectly toward your values, and life rolls along smoothly. Your path is free of obstacles, and all is well. Then a global pandemic, quarantine, and murder hornets turn your world upside-down!
My high school math teacher's mantra runs through my head, "A test a day guarantees an A." Begrudgingly, I admit these tests managed to keep me focused on my studies and doing well. Today, it may seem these trying times test you daily. The test, to be who you want to be, even when the pressure is on.
Integrity also requires transparency, which means never hiding what is right. Integrity is being willing to ask and answer the tough questions.
Do you fall apart when things go wrong or stay true to your commitments to yourself and others?
How do you treat yourself and those around you when the going gets tough?
Until you have become transparent about your actions, you are not in integrity.
Vulnerability is the natural outcome of honesty and transparency. Courageously accepting your feelings and exposing your humanity to others is being vulnerable.
Case in point. I have rarely felt less helpless than during this pandemic. I feel isolated and scared more often than I care to admit. This translates to letting some of my weaker behaviors get the better of me. I thought about making an "I Showered Today" sticker, which made me laugh and then want to cry.
I was impeccable in my commitment to be my strongest self in the early part of 2020 but in the last six weeks…it doesn't feel that way. People joke about the Quarantine 19, but it is not so funny when it is happening to you.
Being in integrity does not mean being perfect. But it does mean doing everything in your power to be true to your word.
Integrity can also look like renegotiating the agreements you make with yourself and others. If you find you've over-committed, first admit it, then have the courage to lean into a difficult conversation and renegotiate your agreements.
Honesty, transparency, and vulnerability are the perfect recipe to take your relationships, including the one you have with yourself, to the next level. You will experience trust, closeness, and a belonging that heals.
If you have veered off course, follow this simple (but not easy) three-step process to reestablish your integrity, and as Don Miguel Ruiz recommends, "Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."
Make amends
Recommit to or renegotiate your agreements
Forgive yourself
No part of you does not deserve your love, your forgiveness, and the confidence and peace that comes from living a life of integrity and purpose.