Why You Need a Mentor!

Singed into my mind are times when my mentor changed my life with a few words or even a look.  Every leap in my career, and more importantly, my character I can directly attribute to the encouragement and guidance of a mentor. Someone with the skills and heart I aspire to have.

In my 20’s there was Nicole, and I so admired her for her competence and integrity. One of the most impactful lessons she imparted on me was when she cared enough about me to let me know I was losing my audience because I used casual slang during a training I gave about Equal Opportunity in University hiring practices. I came by this speech honestly as a child of the ’80s, yet that doesn’t change the fact that professors and administrators didn’t respond well to the words ‘cool’ or ‘awesome’.

This was as valuable a lesson about the impact of my words as it was about having a person in my life willing to help me see my blind spots!

The people you surround yourself with become woven into the fiber of your being over time and that’s why it’s so critical to be selective about who you let into your circle. Your mentors are the rare and special individuals who you not only let in, you let them under your hood to help you do some fine-tuning.

Finding the right person to help you grow is a very personal quest. Whether you approach someone to mentor you or you attract someone who offers to invest in your development you’ve struck gold!

Case in point, Sara, who was my bosses’ boss, took an active interest in my development. Among other words of wisdom, she gave me some advice I’ve shared many times and have used in every single conversation since. She noticed my tendency to take up more than my share of time in our staff meetings and encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and listen more.

YES, I was THAT person. It’s true, I have been a card-carrying member of ON and ON-amous for many years. Hello, my name is Cathie and I talk too much.

I could’ve easily become offended and defensive hearing this hard truth. Instead, I was eager to hear Sara’s perspective because I trusted her criticism was meant to set me up for success; which is different from an abusive and/or manipulative attack meant to cut me down, and imply I was never good enough. The number one most important consideration when choosing to work with a mentor is you know they absolutely and always have your best interests at heart. Thanks to my trust in Sara’s positive intentions for my growth and my wish to change for the better, I embraced her feedback.

Sara’s guidance helped me decide to set a goal of not talking unless I was directly asked a question, or it was my turn. I fought my urges to blurt out my thoughts by repeating to myself over and over ‘You don’t need to say everything you think.’ I wrote notes to myself to SHUT UP, and literally held my lips together with my fingers. It was SO hard! I was fully uncomfortable in those meetings and I was growing.

Then a series of magical things happened. Deeply focusing on other people’s insights led me to some pretty good thoughts of my own. Then when it was my turn to speak I had inspired ideas to share and people were eager to hear them…instead of wondering if I would ever stop talking.  I also discovered introverts’ secret weapon, thinking before speaking – versus thinking out loud. WHAT…Genius!

And I made a valuable discovery; introverts often need someone to make room for them in the conversation. They need to be invited. I was humbled by how much I had to learn from my coworkers once I extended an invitation. And the best part of all was people felt heard and my relationships blossomed.

What came next knocked my socks off. Sara decided to have everyone vote for our first-ever Team Lead and I was elected by my peers! Thanks to Sara’s mentorship, my career, my relationships, and my character was on the rise!

I’ll never know exactly why Sara chose to mentor me, but here’s my guess. We shared a passion to make a difference and she saw me going over and above. Completely outside my job description I volunteered to teach classes and created and led a pilot program to bring a new personal development series to the Job Training Center.

I tell you this not to impress you, because I also clearly made oh so many blunders, but because it shows that people will step up for us if we step up first. I was fully invested and believe that’s why Sara chose to invest something priceless in me, her time, talents and the truth!

However you can swing it, I can’t over-emphasize one of the most powerful things you can give yourself for your growth...a mentor!

Have you had a mentor? Tell me about them in the comments below!